I left the office giddy at the thought of all these new Star Wars These aren’t the Droids you’re looking for shirt classes I’d be taking (I was a nerd and actually got excited about school), but I was especially excited about physics because now I could be closer to my teenage-crush Joe Jonas. Yes, you read that right – Joe Jonas, the middle-third of The Jonas Brothers and an actor from very high-quality productions such as Hannah Montana, the Camp Rock franchise, and the TV series Jonas, as well as a founding and current member of DNCE (edit: and now the JOBROS ARE BACK!!). Unfortunately, I hadn’t taken into account the fact that I suck(ed) at higher math.
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The only thing I can still do after all those semesters Star Wars These aren’t the Droids you’re looking for shirt sobbing my way through trigonometry and calculus is yell “SOHCAHTOA” at you with a fistful of dirt and run away screaming before you can ask me about a derivative. I really did cry in that class. I cried during every exam because I didn’t know what I was doing. I cried into my Physics for Dummies book I had to go buy. I even made the valedictorian cry because he got partnered with me on our final project. So thank you, Joe Jonas, for your stupid charm and angelic voice and luscious hair and for capturing the hearts of millions at the same exact time I had to schedule my classes. I soon found myself off the honor roll and with a life-long hatred of math.